Break Me
by FallAway
Summary: AU. Begins during the summer before Rory’s freshman year at Yale. “I’m giving you permission to break me. And now it’s up to you.” Literati. ON HOLD Until further notice.
1. It's Raining Again

Summary: Slight AU. Set during the summer before Rory's freshman year at Yale. Everything that happened in season three applies, but I added a few twists. "I'm giving you permission to break me. And now it's up to you." Literati.

A/N: This is my first continuation GG fic so I apologize if the characterization is a little spotty.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, as usual. If I did I wouldn't be sitting here right now, you can trust me on that.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She let her eyes drift open at the sounds of thunder in the midnight sky. They automatically drifted to the alarm clock by her bed and in red lighting it screamed 3 a.m. at her. She sighed, pushing the covers out of the way as she got up and went over to the window. She traced clear paths of water down the window as the storm continued outside. Tiny little droplets, vaguely resembling her tears that had fallen just a few hours prior, were forming puddles on the ground outside. She couldn't help but smile to herself. She pressed her palm fully against the glass and shivered a bit at how cold it was. It was nights like this that she used to be scared of. She'd run into her mom's bed and make her hold her to fight off all of the scary booming noises outside. Now she thrived on them, the storms unconsciously reflecting her own inner turmoil.

It had rained the night she realized she was in love with him.

It was an ordinary night, they had been reading on the couch together, teasing each other every now and then. She hadn't even registered the heightened state of her senses as he read aloud to her. She claimed she was too tired to follow the words but they both knew it was a lie. She wanted to hear his voice, feel the utter paradox of emotions that shot through her at the sound. She closed her eyes and snuggled into him, lazily wrapping her arms around his waist. She smiled when she heard his heart pounding inside of his chest, giving away his calm exterior. Maybe it was that moment, maybe it was when he kissed her goodnight and left her mindlessly gripping the door paneling, her other hand on her lips, her breath coming to her in short little gasps.

Maybe she had known it all along.

She shook the thought from her head and went back to her bed, crawling under the covers and pulling them tight around her. She closed her eyes, pushing all thoughts out of her head and firmly willing sleep to come again. It was hopeless. Her mind drifted back to the morning after her realization, when she had opened the door to find him soaking wet on her front porch.

"_Hey," he greeted._

"_Hey."_

"_Can we go somewhere?" he asked, and she recognized a hint of desperation in his voice. She nodded._

_She grabbed her coat off the rack and threw it on, slipping on a pair of flip flops and taking the hand he offered her. She shut the door behind her and laced their fingers together, walking with him in the pouring rain._

_To her surprise, she didn't mind the water dripping down her skin. They went to their bridge and his hand fell from hers as he sat down. She sat next to him and looked over at him, smiling when she saw the raindrops dripping from his eyelids._

"_Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Why did you drag me out here in the pouring rain? We could've very easily stayed at my house." He smirked._

"_You didn't invite me in," he teased. She rolled her eyes. _

"_Seriously."_

"_I used to take walks in the rain back in New York. It calmed me down enough to go back home and deal with whatever guy my mom had home that week." She winced. He didn't notice, keeping his tone even and his face stoic. "I always wondered why people thought it was romantic."_

"_So you dragged me out here to…find out?" He looked at her. "Well that's what it seems like you're getting at. I mean what other purpose could you possibly have for dragging me out into a storm in Stars Hollow at nine in the morning on a Sat-"_

_He cut off her rambling by kissing her. She was shocked at first but gave in a couple seconds later, cupping his face in her hands while he wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer. His other hand trailed the soft, wet skin of her face and he swore he felt her shiver._

_They pulled away moments later and she was left in a daze, her eyes fluttering open and shut in an attempt to focus again. He rested his forehead against hers and the contact was all she needed to come back to the moment._

"_Rory, I-" He paused. She felt her heart speed up and willed him to say the words that she knew were begging to fall out of his mouth. "We should get you home before you get sick," he whispered. She nodded, swallowing back a few drops of rain that had dripped into her mouth, trying to hide her disappointment._

A loud, irritating beeping sound brought her back to her room. She groaned and slammed down on her alarm clock, forcing it to leave her at peace for a few more precious minutes.

"Rise and shine!" Lorelai called out cheerfully as she entered her daughter's room a few minutes later.

"Mmfgh," Rory replied.

"Nope. Get up, today is our first day back and we have things to do! Up, up, up!"

Rory pulled the covers over her head and burrowed further into them, trying to block out her mother.

Lorelai rolled her eyes and yanked the covers off of her, smiling when Rory shot up in bed.

"That's more like it," she cheered.

"Mom!" Rory whined.

"Coffee's in the kitchen," Lorelai grinned as she left the room. Rory groaned and got out of bed, pulling a robe on as she made her way into the kitchen and sat down.

"What time is it?" Rory yawned, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Eight," came her mother's simple response.

"Ok, I'm going to take a shower and then we can go to Luke's." Lorelai nodded and swallowed back more of her coffee.

"Sounds good, sweets."

Rory made her way into the bathroom and was in the shower only a couple moments later. Letting the water trickle over her body, she tried her hardest to erase her dream. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about him, she was supposed to hate him. She did hate him, or at least she told herself she did. Summer in Europe had been amazing, not allowing much room for thoughts of him but occasionally, when she'd step into a book store or somewhere that reminded her of Luke's, she would think of him. It hurt, to know that moving on wouldn't be as easy as she'd hoped, but what hurt more was that she knew she'd never see him again to tell him just how awful he was.

She turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, wiping some fog off the mirror to look at herself. She didn't look any different to the usual observer, but exterior appearance can betray a person, and she knew that from experience now. She shook her head to clear her head and went back to her room to get ready for Luke's.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Coffee," the Gilmore girls chorused as they took a seat at the counter. Luke looked up from the table he'd been at and grinned.

"Europe didn't change you, I see," he teased, handing the other customer's order to Cesar and putting two mugs in front of them.

"Never!" Lorelai gasped as he filled their mugs. He shook his head.

"Shoulda known. So how was the trip?"

"Amazing. The books lie, it's even more amazing in person. It was so beautiful, Luke," Rory rambled. He grinned again.

"I'm glad you had a good time."

"How was the cruise?" Lorelai chimed in.

"Oh…uneventful," Luke said nervously. Lorelai eyed him warily.

"Uh-huh. Come on, cough it up."

"I told you, it was uneventful."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care."

"Tell me what happened!"

"Nothing happened."

"Fine," she sighed. "At least give me more coffee so that I can mope about my lack of information." Luke rolled his eyes but refilled her cup.

"More coffee, Rory?"

Rory didn't hear him. Her attention was directed at the stairs, expecting him to come down them any minute. Luke followed her gaze and sighed.

"Rory," he tried again. She snapped out of her reverie and looked at him, eyes wide. "Coffee?"

"Oh…yeah. Thanks, Luke." He nodded and refilled her cup before moving off to help the other customers around the diner.

"You ok, sweets?" Lorelai asked in concern.

"What? Oh…yeah, I'm fine, mom."

"If you say so."

"I do say so."

"Well ok," she sighed. "I have to go meet Sookie; you'll be ok by yourself?"

"Yeah, I have to go see Lane anyway."

"I'll see you back at home later," Lorelai said as she hopped off the stool and kissed her on the forehead. "Bye sweets!" she called over her shoulder as she left the diner.

"He called," Luke said as he went back behind the counter.

"What? Who?" Rory asked in confusion.

"Jess." She closed her eyes for a second. It had been so long since she'd heard his name.

"Oh," she said softly.

"He's in California, with his dad. He said it's sunny." She nodded.

"I've heard that." She paused and looked up at him. "How is he?"

"Good. He's good." She nodded.

"Good."

"He asked about you."

"Did he?" she asked, trying to seem nonchalant about it.

"Yeah, I told him you were in Europe." She nodded again.

"He called me on my graduation day," she said quietly, absentmindedly tracing the rim of her mug with her finger.

"He didn't mention that."

"Probably not. He didn't say anything but I knew it was him."

"He's an idiot, Rory." She laughed bitterly.

"That's what they all told me and I didn't listen, did I?" He sighed. "I have to go meet Lane. Thanks for the coffee," she said as she jumped off her stool and left the diner.

Luke went back to serving customers and glanced up when the bell above the door rang. He had to do a double take.

"Jess?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Like I said, this is my first continuation GG fic, and I know that the characterization is probably off and I apologize for that, I will work on it. I love reviews; I could eat them for every meal of the day and never tire of them so I'd love to get some. Thanks for reading!


	2. Tensions Run High

A/N: Wow, I didn't realize I would get so many reviews for this fic. Truly, I appreciate each and every one of them, thank you so much. I'm sorry about the wait for this chapter, but life has been hectic. I actually didn't realize how much had been going on until I woke up and found out we were more than halfway through August the other day! So! Thank you for your patience and without further ado I give you chapter two.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"He's an idiot, Rory." She laughed bitterly.

"That's what they all told me and I didn't listen, did I?" He sighed. "I have to go meet Lane. Thanks for the coffee," she said as she jumped off her stool and left the diner.

Luke went back to serving customers and glanced up when the bell above the door rang. He had to do a double take.

"Jess?"

He nodded. "Luke." The older man put the coffee pot he'd been holding on the nearest table and tugged on the sleeve of Jess' worn leather jacket. "Hey, watch it!" he protested, pulling back from his uncle.

"Upstairs. Now," Luke bit back, shoving his nephew towards the curtain.

Jess rolled his eyes and made his way up the stairs, tossing his stuff on the floor and clenching his fists to keep from yelling. He had to stay calm, no matter how much he wanted to get angry.

"Sit," Luke barked, pointing to a chair at the table. Jess grudgingly obliged, slumping down and crossing his arms defensively over his chest. "Tell me what the hell you're doing here."

Jess paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. In the past twenty-four hours everything he had tried to build up for the past month and a half had come crashing down. Things with his father had been fine until yesterday afternoon when he had taken Jimmy's offer to stay and thrown it in his face. Things had actually been looking up for him again, he felt like he was growing up and finding out who he was, and then he had gone and pitched it out the window without a second thought. Twelve hours later he found himself homeless and jobless, wandering aimlessly around Venice Beach.

He'd taken the money he'd been saving up for his own apartment and bought a plane ticket to Connecticut and the next thing he knew he was on a bus to Star's Hollow, absently tracing water droplets on the window.

He sighed before finally speaking.

"I screwed up," he said, emotionlessly. Luke rolled his eyes.

"So, what? Do you owe someone money?" Jess shook his head.

"We were getting along," he said quietly after a moment. Luke looked at him in confusion and he decided to elaborate. "Jimmy and I. It was working."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"So…why did it stop working?" Luke asked hesitantly. Jess laughed bitterly, shaking his head.

"I was irritated and I threw everything he had offered in his face."

"Oh."

"You wanna add a little more enthusiasm to that, Luke?" he bit sarcastically. Luke's calm demeanor turned stony as he glared at his nephew.

"You came to me, Jess. You don't get to be a smartass this time." His voice was a low growl and Jess was almost shocked at how angry he seemed.

"I'll try harder," Jess said quietly. His uncle stared blankly at him for a moment, forcing him to stand up and throw his arms in the air out of frustration. "I'll try harder, ok! I'll go back to school and graduate if that's what you want, I'll work in the diner when you need me, I won't screw things up like I did last time!" he shouted, pacing back and forth in the tiny apartment.

Silence engulfed the pair for a few minutes before Luke cleared his throat roughly.

"Empty promises. That's what you said last time you came back, Jess, an-"

"And I fucked it up. I know." Luke nodded.

"You will go back to school. You will graduate. And if anything should decide to get in the way of that, you will find your ass on the street, got it?"

"Yeah. I got it," Jess agreed, running his hands over his face.

"Good. We'll re-enroll you tomorrow, but I want you down at the diner to work the dinner crowd." Jess nodded. "This is your last chance," Luke said finally.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, meeting the older man's eyes. Luke nodded tersely before leaving the apartment to get back down to the diner.

Jess sighed and flopped down on his bed, running his hands over his face again.

Outside, the rain hadn't let up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Offspring!" Lorelai called out when she got home that evening. Rory turned to look at her mother from her position on the couch and smiled.

"Hey, mom," she greeted warmly. Lorelai sunk down into the couch beside her and sighed dramatically.

"We are never leaving home again." Rory nodded in mock agreement.

"Of course not. Care to tell me why?" Lorelai turned her head and looked at her daughter.

"Michel, if possible, got grumpier."

"But is the Inn okay?"

"Well…yes."

"Then he will get over it. What are we getting for dinner, I'm starved," Rory grinned when her mother sighed again.

"He wasn't even happy to see me!" Lorelai whined, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Al's? I've missed the culturally-festive food," Rory continued, moving into the kitchen to dig through the takeout menus.

"And he and Sookie were actually agreeing on things!"

"Or we can always just go to Luke's, fall back on the old favorite."

"Michel and Sookie! Agreeing! I considered looking for flying pigs in the sky," Lorelai continued as she joined her daughter in the kitchen.

"Ooh, can we order from Sandeep's?" Rory asked hopefully, looking up at her mother. Lorelai's face instantly changed from a well-practiced pout to a look of disgust.

"Not unless you want to burn the house down," she said in mock horror. "I vote Luke's."

"Luke's it is," Rory giggled, grabbing her jacket as the two made their way out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Coffee!" Lorelai called dramatically as she entered the diner. Luke only rolled his eyes before silently placing two mugs on the counter and filling them as the Gilmore girls sauntered up to the counter and sat down.

"Ah, sweet elixir of life," Lorelai sighed, drinking deeply from her mug. Rory giggled and followed suit after greeting Luke.

"What can I get you?" he asked tiredly.

"Burgers and fries."

"Onion rings for me, please," Rory chimed in. He jotted down the order and took it to Cesar before moving back to the counter.

Rory glanced around the diner, taking in the various customers and tiny snippets of conversation from around the room while she drummed her fingers on her mug, realizing just how much she'd missed this place when she was in Europe.

In the corner she saw Kirk eating alone, seemingly deep in thought over something. She shook it off and continued to look around, spotting Babette and Morey chatting over their dinner, Babette's shrill voice getting higher with excitement every now and then. Finally her eyes drifted past the stairs and she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach.

"…rain won't stop and it ruined my hair," she heard her mother finishing whatever it was she was complaining about and snapped her head back to look at her mom and Luke.

"Tragedy," Luke said sarcastically, placing their food in front of them.

"It truly is. The loss of a good hair day is always worth a good mourning," Lorelai agreed before digging into her food. Rory stared down at her onion rings, trying to regain some control over her heartbeat. Or her breathing. Either one would suffice, really.

Luke looked at the younger girl and noticed how tense she had become. He turned and saw that Jess had come down the stairs and was now torn between dashing back up them and staying to help customers.

"Refill coffees," he demanded, making the choice for his nephew. Jess sighed but took the pot, averting his eyes and hurriedly moving around the diner. Lorelai stared stonily at him before turning her glare to Luke.

Rory's eyes steadily rose as the silence between Luke and Lorelai became tense. They were seemingly staring each other down, and Rory was internally begging for a distraction. Her eyes flashed to Jess' back for a moment before snapping back to the scene before her, her internal organs screaming at her to run, and to run as fast as she could.

"Jess is back?" Lorelai asked, attempting to keep her voice nonchalant and failing miserably.

"Jess is back," Luke agreed.

"When did Jess get back?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and setting her burger down.

"Today."

"Uh-huh. And were you planning to tell anyone?"

"Didn't need to, you saw him yourself."

"I'd love to say it's nice to see him but it isn't," Lorelai said icily.

"You never were a Jess fan," he said simply, going to serve a customer who had just stepped into the diner.

Lorelai groaned and looked at her daughter, who had been quietly eating next to her.

"You okay, sweets?" she asked in concern. Rory nodded, taking another sip of her coffee and standing up.

"I'm gonna go home, I'm tired," she lied, silently pleading with her mother to let her go without any more questions.

"Ok, I'll be home in a bit," Lorelai agreed. Rory nodded and, with one last glance at Jess, ventured back out in the rain.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N 2: Kinda short, and I'm not sure how well that turned out. As you know, I could eat reviews for every meal of the day and snacks and still not be tired of them. The next chapter is most likely going to continue from where this one left off, but I'm not entirely sure yet.


	3. Not Here, Not Now

A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate the feedback; it gives me a great incentive for writing to know what y'all think.

This is the chapter I'm sure you've been waiting for – the Jess/Rory interaction. Enjoy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She groaned as she turned over for the umpteenth time that night. Her bed seemed to be nothing more than a giant pile of uncomfortable lumps and she was dying for some sleep. Giving up, she got out of bed and went over to the window, looking up at the ebony sky. The rain had let up and she sighed softly. The rain made it easier to take her mind off of things … him. It held some of her fondest memories and some of her worst moments, and she just wished it would start raining again so that the constant sound of the water drumming against the window would overpower the whispers in her mind.

No such luck.

She opened the window and breathed in the night air, still fresh with the scent of a storm come and gone and nearly tumbled backwards as another memory coursed through her.

_She sighed as she walked into her room to change into her pajamas. Her mother was stuck at the Inn, some sort of computer problem that needed to be dealt with so she was alone for the night. She dug through her dresser until she came across a comfortable pair of sweats and a tank top. She pulled them on quickly, pulling her hair back into a haphazard ponytail. A tap at the window nearly made her jump out of her skin._

"_Jess? What are you doing?" she hissed as she opened the window. He shrugged._

"_Luke said he could handle closing." Rory nodded and moved aside to let him in, shutting the window once he was standing next to her._

"_Where's your mom?" he asked as he followed her into the living room. She flopped down on the couch before answering him._

"_The Inn. Computer problems." He nodded and sat next to her. She snuggled into his side and he kissed the top of her head, wrapping an arm around her. "Wanna watch a movie?" she asked innocently, looking up at him._

"_Whatever," he shrugged. She got up only to be pulled back into his lap when he grabbed her wrist. She giggled softly but was cut off when he pressed his lips to hers. She melted into him, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Shivers trailed her spine when he rested his hands on her hips, tracing tiny circles on the fabric of her sweats with his index fingers._

"_Mmm," she mumbled lazily when they parted. He smirked softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear._

"_Movie," Jess reminded her. She nodded and kissed him again before getting up and popping a random movie into the VCR, knowing it wouldn't matter what events were playing out across the screen._

She bit her lip and tried to calm her breathing, cursing herself for still being able to feel his lips on hers. She bit down harder when she remembered that he was back. The look in his eyes when she'd seen him in the diner that night had confused her, sending her heart into a chaotic beat that held no rhythm whatsoever. He looked almost…regretful. Apologetic. Tired. It was strange to see him that way, and even stranger when he let his facial expression betray those feelings.

She tried to shake it off as she climbed back under the covers, closing her eyes and finally drifting off into a fitful sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jess lay awake staring at the ceiling. His eyes momentarily drifted to his alarm clock and he sighed. 4:30 am. He would have to get up in just a few hours to help Luke open the diner. And yet he couldn't fall asleep. It had been happening for the past couple weeks, and he knew why.

Because of her.

When he did manage to fall asleep, his dreams were just memories of her. The way she smelled, the way she fit perfectly in his arms…the way she was always there for him no matter what anyone else seemed to think.

He closed his eyes as the bitter, and now familiar, taste of regret filled his senses. It was his fault that he was laying her thinking about her, his fault that every day there was a constant probing of emptiness inside of him. He tried desperately to will away the memories, but nothing he did ever worked, and that problem held fast now.

"_This discussion is old, Ror," he teased, sitting down on his bed._

"_We wouldn't still be having it if you would just agree that I'm right and you're wrong!" she defended, sitting next to him._

"_She's a nut."_

"_He's dry as dust."_

"_I repeat – she's a nut."_

"_And he's boring!"_

"_You have no appreciation for great literature!" he scoffed. She rolled her eyes._

"_Hemingway is not great literature, it's a cure for insomnia," she said seriously._

"_Says she who counts Ayn Rand among her favorite authors."_

"_It's just part of my charm," she grinned, twining her fingers with his._

"_Whatever gets you through the day," he joked before kissing her temple. She closed her eyes for a second and leaned into his touch._

"_Come on, I'll buy you coffee," he murmured and got up from the bed, pulling her behind him._

She had been right, it was all just a part of her charm, her ability to draw him in and make him never want to come back out. In the few months that they were together they had managed to create their own little world, often too caught up in each other to notice the townspeople whispering about them or the patrons in the diner who would smile as they remembered what it was like to be young and in love.

Love. The word terrified him but what terrified him more was the fact that she didn't know how much he _did_ love her. She had taught him what love was, had taught him how amazing it can be to care so much about another person.

With these thoughts on his mind he finally drifted off to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She wandered through town and took the time to actually take everything in. She watched for a few minutes as a dozen little girls danced around in Miss Patty's dance studio, laughed when she saw Taylor chasing Kirk out of his market for some reason or another. When she approached the diner her eyes locked with a brown-eyed boy she had thought she'd never see again and she froze. They stayed like that for a moment, eyes locked through the clear glass of the window before her bodily functions came crawling back and she turned on her heel and walked away.

She hadn't made it three feet before she felt his hand on her shoulder. She nearly relaxed into the familiar warmth of his touch before she realized what she was doing and pulled away, turning around to face him.

"Rory," he breathed, taking the opportunity to really look at her.

"Jess," she replied tersely, wrapping her arms around herself.

There were a few moments of excruciating silence in which they both took the opportunity to look at each other, create a new mental picture that wasn't too different from the one they had from seven weeks ago.

"You're back," she said finally, snapping out of her reverie. He nodded.

"Yeah," he agreed.

Silence. Again. Rory rolled her eyes. Jess shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked, exasperated.

"About coming back?" She rolled her eyes again.

"About leaving. You didn't even say goodbye. And calling me at my graduation and continuing not to say anything was a sorry excuse for a phone call," she spat.

"I didn't know what to say."

"Um, goodbye would be a nice start," she said sarcastically, surprised at how angry she was.

"I'm not good with goodbyes, Rory, you know that."

"Yes, you're right. I do know that. So really, it's my fault for not understanding how you could leave your girlfriend of seven months without so much as a goodbye. My bad," she said as she turned around and started walking away again.

He caught up with her.

"That's not what I meant," he argued. She stopped and turned to face him.

"Then what in hell did you mean, Jess?" she asked, her voice rising considerably. He looked taken aback at her tone for a moment but hid it quickly.

"I didn't want to say goodbye because I knew you'd convince me to stay if I had."

"What would've been so bad about that?"

"I needed to go. I needed to figure out who I was."

"You managed to do that in a month and a half? Wow, Jess, that must have been some intense soul searching," she spat, walking away yet again. He matched her stride for angry stride.

"I managed to figure out a few things before I screwed up again," he said angrily. She scoffed.

"Oh, like what? That you should have maybe _told me_ what was going on instead of just trying to…" she paused, flustered, "at Kyle's party and then just left? Those kind of things, Jess?" He grabbed her arm and she stopped again, her blue eyes flaming.

"If you wanna scream at me, fine. But we are not going to do it with half the town watching," he said at a low growl, dipping closer to her so that she could hear him. Her breath hitched in her throat.

"Let go of me," she said, matching his tone. He did as she asked and she stormed off, leaving him standing in the middle of town square feeling like a piece of him had been ripped out and fed to the dogs.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N 2: So there it is. You all know how much I love reviews, so feel free to drop one. Thanks!


	4. Here It Goes

A/N: Clarification time. Ok, so I'm a bit of a spaz and said that MOST of what happened in season three applies – well, all of it applies. Initially I was going to change a few things but what I have in mind will work better if I just leave season three the way it is.

I also wanted to say how much I appreciate the reviews; I'm really excited that you all like the story so much. Now on with the show…err…story.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

She slammed the door once she was through its barrier and leaned against it, banging the back of her head against it.

"Insufferable jerk," she muttered as she went to answer the phone, which was seemingly ringing just to annoy her.

"What?" she said irritably into the receiver.

"Hi Oscar." She sighed.

"Hi mom," she sighed and sunk back into the couch cushions.

"Bad day?"

"You could say that."

"Right. Well Michel has somehow convinced me to go home early so I was wondering if you'd want to meet me at Luke's in about twenty minutes."

Rory looked up from the string she'd been tugging at and swallowed.

"Um…I should start packing my stuff…you know, for when I move into the dorm room next week."

"Huh. Ok, want me to bring you back anything?" Lorelai asked, her voice edged with suspicion.

"Coffee would be nice," Rory replied, trying to keep her voice light.

"Alright. You're sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll see you when you get home."

"Bye sweets."

"Bye," she said softly before clicking off the phone and lying back on the couch. Life just got a hell of a lot more complicated.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Coffee!" Lorelai demanded when she sat down at the counter. Luke rolled his eyes before filling a mug with coffee and placing it in front of her.

"That stuff'll kill you one of these days."

"I seem to remember someone else telling me the same thing…come to think he kinda looked like you," she teased.

"I'm leaving," Jess said as he tossed his order pad on the counter.

"Fine," Luke agreed, watching as Jess left the diner before he had even finished the word.

"Still not so talkative, huh?" He returned his attention to the woman in front of him.

"Nope. He seems more irritated today than usual though."

"Weird."

"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Oh…nothing. It's just that Rory's all bad-moody today too."

"Weird coincidence?"

"I don't think so. Um, can I get two coffees to go? I should get home and help Rory pack."

He placed the travel cups in front of her and she dropped some money on the counter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Rory?"

She was greeted by the harsh tones of the Distillers blasting through the house. She sighed and hung her coat up, dropping her keys on the kitchen counter on her way into her daughter's room.

"Rory!" she tried again, to no avail. She moved over to the stereo and turned it down, finally catching the attention of the girl sitting on the floor in front of her.

Rory turned around in surprise but relaxed when she saw who was standing in her doorway.

"I didn't hear you come in," she said simply, standing and taking the cup of coffee from her mom.

"Understandable," Lorelai shrugged, moving to sit on her bed.

Rory joined her a moment later, still sipping her coffee.

"So, did anything interesting happen today?" Rory swallowed.

"Not really," she smiled, taking another sip.

"Huh. So…the fact that you and Jess are both acting like your dog just died is a coincidence."

Rory looked at her mom and sighed, seeing the knowing look in her eyes.

"We argued."

"Skipped the talking phase, huh?"

"Seemed a little pointless to be talking when all I wanted to do was yell."

"Makes sense I suppose. Who saw?"

"I don't even know. One minute we were watching each other through the window in the diner, the next he was walking after me and the next we were screaming at each other in the middle of the town square," she sighed, exasperated. Lorelai nodded.

"Do you regret it?" Lorelai asked after a minute. Rory looked up at her in confusion.

"Regret what?"

"Any of it. Dating him, giving him the chance to apologize today…"

"I was not giving him the chance to apologize," she defended. "I was…ok, I was giving him the chance to apologize," she said in defeat.

"You didn't answer my question, sweets."

Silence descended over the two for a moment before Rory reached over and turned her stereo off completely, setting the now-empty coffee cup next to it.

"No," she said quietly. Lorelai inhaled sharply and winced a little. "No, I don't regret it."

"I don't like this, Rory. I don't like that he still has this much power over you."

"I don't either, but apparently he does."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_You know," he whispered in her ear, draping his arms around her shoulders, "Your homework will still be there after a coffee break."_

_She relaxed into his arms and leaned her head against the back of the chair. She had been at the diner studying for the past two hours._

"_I just want to get this done," she sighed, bringing her hands up and intertwining them with his. He nodded and dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead._

"_C'mon, ten minutes," he said softly, kissing her earlobe. She bit back a giggle and sighed, giving in._

"_Ten minutes."_

He winced at the memory as he put up the last chair. The words they'd exchanged earlier that day kept running through his mind, intricately weaved with memories of their better days.

He looked around the empty diner and sighed to himself, slumping against the counter. Luke had been trying to get the reason for his anger out of him all day but he just glared at him until he left him alone. It worked well enough but now he was wishing he could complain to someone.

A couple of months ago, that someone would've been Rory.

But unfortunately he had never taken advantage of that opportunity, and now when he actually needed it she wasn't there. Not to mention she was the cause of this new dilemma.

He tossed his rag onto the counter and ran his hands over his face before going up to the apartment. Luke was out with Nicole somewhere and he was glad for the quiet. If he was asked one more prying question about his life he'd be forced to throw himself out a window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_Stop it," she warned, not looking up from the notebook in front of her. She heard a sigh behind her and continued writing._

_A moment later she felt him drop a few feather-light kisses on the back of her neck._

"_Jess," she whined. "I can't get anything done with you here. I told you it was a bad idea for you to come over."_

"_Take a break," he urged, continuing his ministrations. She closed her eyes for a second in an attempt to regain her composure._

"_I need to get this paper done."_

"_When's it due?" he asked knowingly, letting his hands trail over her shoulders._

"_Next Thursday."_

"_Which means that you not only have all weekend to work on it but you also have three days after that," he teased, kissing her shoulder._

_She turned in her chair to look at him and sighed. He was crouching down so that he was eye level with her. She noticed the pleading look in his eyes and sighed again._

"_Fine, I'll finish it tomorrow. But if I fail my English class-"_

"_I will take full responsibility," he finished. She smiled and kissed him quickly._

"_Good boy," she giggled, patting his head._

After her mom had left her two hours earlier she had continued packing, making sure she had everything she'd need for the upcoming year. Occasionally, when she'd be looking for something else that she'd forgotten she'd have a random flashback and it was near-killing her.

Their argument that day hadn't surprised her. To be honest, she'd been expecting it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. She could see the pain in his eyes, the regret, and she wanted to trust that he had changed in some way but she didn't. Couldn't.

And yet she wanted him to explain it all. She wanted him to tell her the things she'd been dying to hear. That he loved her. That he missed her. That he was sorry. But she didn't expect any of these thoughts to come pouring out of him.

She sighed and lay back on her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What are you doing?" Rory asked as she shuffled into the kitchen the next morning.

"Making breakfast!" Lorelai grinned, turning back to the stove. Rory stared at her mother in horror.

"And here I thought you loved me."

"I do love you. That's why I'm not making you go to Luke's, where the happy coffee is, I might add, but the broody diner boy can also be found." Rory rolled her eyes and sat down at the table.

"So you've decided to kill me, therefore preventing me from ever having to come in contact with Jess again."

"Pretty much, yeah," Lorelai agreed, smirking.

"I'm going to go take a shower while you turn off all things that produce heat so that you don't burn the house down. Then we're going to Luke's to get edible food," Rory grinned before going in the bathroom.

"I was just trying to help!" Lorelai shouted before the sound of the water hitting the tub blocked her voice out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Coffee," they chorused as they made their way into the diner and sat at the counter. Luke sighed and placed two identical mugs of coffee in front of them.

"I heard an interesting rumor about you today," Lorelai grinned over the rim of her cup. Rory giggled.

"What's that," he asked dully.

"That you got down on one knee." He rolled his eyes.

"I did not."

"Did so."

"No."

"You got married to Nicole!" she accused, giggling in spite of herself.

"I have customers to serve," he drawled before moving out from behind the counter. This only made her laugh harder.

Rory laughed along with her mother for a moment before letting her gaze float around the diner. It locked with a pair of deep brown eyes that were looking at her. She unconsciously blushed and turned back to her coffee.

"Stealthy," Lorelai deadpanned.

"Hush."

"Ok, I'm just saying…"

Rory pulled her sleeves down over her hands and took another sip of her coffee.

"Can we talk?" she heard a familiar voice ask. She looked up and was greeted with the same brown eyes she'd tried to avoid just moments earlier. She glanced at her mother but found nothing more than the usual stony stare she had when Jess was in the room. She sighed.

"Talk. That's it."

"That's it," he promised. She got off the stool and followed him upstairs, much to the pleasure of the town gossips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dun dun dun…here it goes. The infamous Rory/Jess talk. The more you review the faster it gets delivered. And now I'm gone.


	5. Unexpected Confessions

A/N: Damn. I didn't quite realize I'd get such a huge response so quickly. But you're probably tired of listening to me talk, so without further ado I give you chapter five.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_Please let me get you a soda, I gotta do something other than stand here like a moron."_

"_Take comfort in the fact that you are not doing it alone."_

"_Ok. Let's just regroup."_

"_Yeah. Regroup."_

She winced as she made her way further into the apartment. This place was filled with so many memories of them. It hurt to be there with him now.

"You wanted to talk," she said softly, turning to face him when she heard the door close.

"I wanted to talk," he confirmed. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared at him expectantly. When he didn't say anything, she groaned.

"Well, you wanted to talk, so talk," she said irritably. Jess sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I didn't want yesterday to turn out the way it did," he said honestly. Rory nodded.

"Agreed. Keep going."

A few moments of awkward silence passed before he sighed again and rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. Her eyes shot up from the floor and widened at the words. An apology from Jess Mariano. She never thought she'd live to see the day.

"I should've told you I was leaving; I should've told you a lot of things."

"Yeah, you're right. You should have. I wanted to help you, Jess, but you couldn't even tell me what was wrong!" His face hardened at the words.

"I couldn't."

"Why?"

"You're going to Yale in a week, Rory."

"What does Yale have to do with anything?" she asked in exasperation, her voice rising slightly.

"Yale has to do with everything! You're the town princess, Ror. Everyone's protecting you, helping you achieve all of your dreams. And then there's me, the guy that everyone hates." She shook her head in confusion.

"Jess, wha-"

"But you chose me," he paused and looked at her. "And I messed it up, just like always."

She swallowed, unable to find a response. After a moment he continued.

"You're going to Yale, and your boyfriend couldn't even graduate high school," he said quietly.

"You can go back to school," she said. He was still looking at her.

"Yeah, well, I have to if I want to stay."

"You're staying?"

"Hopefully."

"W-why?" A look of pain flashed across his face but he covered it seconds later.

"I don't have anywhere else to go," he said simply. She closed her eyes for a minute.

"What about California? That is where you went, right? To chase after your dad? Which, by the way, I found out from Luke just a couple of days ago," she snapped.

"It didn't work out," he shrugged. She rolled her eyes.

"That's all? No explanation whatsoever, just 'It didn't work out.'? You are impossible!"

"I'm impossible?"

"Yes! You never told me anything when we were dating and you won't even do it now!" she shrieked, folding her arms tighter across her chest.

"It's not like it matters."

"This was stupid," she muttered, moving towards the door. He blocked her.

"Rory, don't go."

"Why? Why shouldn't I leave, Jess?" He remained quiet and she tried to push past him again, to no avail. "Move," she demanded. He shook his head.

"I can't do that, Rory."

"Why the hell not?" she bit, glaring at him. The look in his eyes stopped any further complaint from falling out of her mouth.

"Because you and I both know that I have a hell of a lot more to say to you," he whispered. She backed away from him, desperate to put some space between them.

"Like what? That you're sorry? Gee, thanks for the apology, Jess, but that doesn't fix everything," she said angrily. She was kicking herself for agreeing to this.

"I know it doesn't fix everything, but at least it's a start," he defended.

"A start to what?"

"To getting back to normal."

"What is normal? I don't think normal ever existed for us! Was it when we were 'just friends' and I was spending more time thinking about you than my boyfriend, or when we were dating and you showed up at my grandmother's house with a black eye? Or, maybe, when we got in that accident and I broke my wrist, so you went back to New York without a goodbye. I'm starting to see a trend," she said sarcastically, never taking her eyes from his. She was hurting him, she could tell, and in some sick and twisted way she enjoyed it.

"I came back for you," he said quietly. She bit her lip when she heard the venom in his tone.

"I'm well aware."

"You said it yourself, Rory, I broke you."

"You did not break me, Jess. God you sound like my mother."

"I'm not talking about your wrist." She closed her eyes.

Silence passed between them again, weighing down on the words he had just uttered. He was right, he knew. She knew it too but everything inside of her was begging her not to tell him that.

"Yeah."

"Yeah what?"

"Yeah, you broke me," she looked up at him. His gaze remained locked on the floor in front of him, so she continued. "You made me think that I wasn't good enough for you. I cried myself to sleep the night you left. I kept thinking that I had done something to make you leave, that I made you angry when I wouldn't-" she paused and took a deep breathe before continuing. "When I wouldn't sleep with you at Kyle's party." He groaned.

"I was never mad at you for that, I couldn't be mad at you for that. I was pissed about graduation."

"You should've told me."

"I would have if you hadn't gone running to Dean!" he yelled. She shrunk back and stared at him.

She hesitated before answering. "I did not go running to Dean," she said in disbelief. "In fact, I wanted you to catch up to me so that we could talk about it, and that does not involve crying on Dean's shoulder," she defended.

"It didn't look that way from where I was standing," he said sarcastically.

"You're an idiot."

"I know."

"This is all because of you."

"I know."

"I wanted to hate you." He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

"I know."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"No." She rolled her eyes.

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I'm so fucked up and in love with you that I would've done anything to make sure you weren't disappointed in me," he growled. She froze. His eyes widened.

That was not the way that confession was supposed to go.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She closed the door to her bedroom and leaned against it. She'd been numb the entire walk home, barely even feeling the raindrops that had soaked through to her skin. She'd watched the weather report that morning and had been looking forward to the storm, but now she couldn't even register that it was raining. She sank down to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest.

"_Because I'm so fucked up and in love with you that I would've done anything to make sure you weren't disappointed in me."_

His words kept repeating themselves in her head and she couldn't decide if she was happy or mad about it. He had said he was sorry. He had admitted to being in love with her, and she could tell from the look on his face after he said it that he hadn't wanted her to find out yet.

She hadn't said anything after that, just brushed past him and rushed out of the diner. Her mom had already gone to work, thank God, so she didn't have to deal with the third degree.

"_Because I'm so fucked up and in love with you…"_

She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He sat on the edge of the bridge, watching the rain make ripples in the water below him. _"Because I'm so fucked up and in love with you…" _He winced. That wasn't supposed to be how she found out. They were supposed to work it all out before he told her. He looked down when he felt something burn his hand. He groaned.

He'd been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed how short his cigarette had gotten. He threw it into the lake and shoved his hands in his pockets.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Marco!" Lorelai yelled when she came into the house that night. When she got no response she went into the kitchen.

"Marco!" she tried again. Still, no response. She listened for a moment and heard the faint sounds of Norah Jones coming from Rory's room. She gently opened the door and poked her head through the door.

Rory was lying on her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.

"You know, the rules of the game are that if I say 'Marco,' you say 'Polo,'" she teased.

She got no response. She went over and sat on the edge of the bed. It was then that she noticed Rory's red-rimmed eyes.

"What'd he say?" Lorelai said softly. Her daughter finally looked at her.

"He's in love with me," Rory whispered, her eyes welling with a fresh batch of tears. Lorelai gathered her into her arms and let her cry on her shoulder, silently cursing Jess for having such an effect on her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She was awake. Still. She had convinced her mother to go to bed about three hours earlier, telling her she was tired and in desperate need of sleep. Lorelai had started to argue but Rory just yawned and shoved her out of her bedroom with a hasty goodnight.

And now she was lying awake, staring at one of the many pictures she had pulled out of her Jess box in the past half hour.

They were at the diner, talking about something over the counter. Their hands were intertwined and their heads were bent together, small smiles displayed on both of their faces. Lane had taken the photo before Jess could object or put up his usual stony exterior. She bit back a giggle at the memory.

"_Tell me that wasn't a camera flash," he whispered. She giggled._

"_I do believe it was," she grinned. He groaned and turned his head to give Lane an annoyed glare._

"_You two are so cute!" Lane defended. Jess clenched his jaw and continued to glare at her until he felt Rory's hand on his chin, turning him back to face her._

"_Ignore it. Just be here with me," she said softly, brushing her nose against his. His face softened and he kissed her cheek affectionately before returning to their previous conversation._

She sighed and placed the picture back into the box. _"Because I'm so fucked up and in love with you…" _Realization hit. She needed to see him.

She glanced at the clock and paused momentarily when she saw that it was two in the morning. Then she shook her head and got out of bed, pulling a sweatshirt over her head and throwing on a comfortable pair of sneakers before climbing out the window.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Reviews are love.


	6. I Lied

A/N: Hello! Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter, I wasn't totally convinced that it played out as well as I had intended but you all reassured me, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I know where I want to go with this, what I want to happen. I also know that it's not going to be wrapped up within two or three more chapters. Possibly five or six more, I'll just have to wait and see how it plays out when I write it.

And without further ado, I bring you chapter six.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She groped for the spare key that she knew Luke kept above the door. The rain had already soaked through her clothing, leaving her shivering but she didn't care. When her quaking fingers closed around the small, jagged piece of metal, she pulled it down and unlocked the door to the diner, closing it quietly behind her.

She closed her eyes and leaned back against the door, taking a minute to catch her breath. She'd started out walking to the diner, gradually speeding up as the rain went from a dull drizzle to a pounding storm. She'd run the last two blocks of distance.

She crept up the stairs and did her best to remain quiet in the darkness, the only sounds audible being the rain outside and the pumping of her heart.

"_Rory? What are you doing here?" Jess whispered when he opened the door. It was near midnight, and he'd heard a strange noise so he'd rushed down the stairs only to find his girlfriend, hands and face pressed to the window, staring at him._

"_I don't know. I woke up and I just…needed to see you," she said softly, looking at the ground. He fought back a smile._

"_Hey," he said quietly, taking her chin in his hand and lifting it until their eyes met, "Is everything ok?" She nodded and he breathed a sigh of relief, pulling her into a hug._

_They stayed that way for a few minutes before she pulled away and kissed him, deeply. He was taken aback for a second before his brain kicked in and he reciprocated her movements._

"_I have to get home," she whispered in between kisses. He reluctantly let her go after one last lingering touch, and she ran out of the diner._

She paused at the door to the apartment, contemplating her next move. True, she'd set out on a mission to see him, but now she was having doubts. It was past two in the morning and she was standing in front of the door to her ex-boyfriend's apartment, trying to decide the easiest way to make it through the rest of the night.

She sighed resignedly, gently opening the door.

_She rolled her eyes when she saw him sprawled out across his bed, tangled up in his sheets and gently snoring._

_Rory drifted over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it and pushing a few stray curls away from his forehead._

"_Wake up, sleepyhead," she whispered in his ear, kissing the dip behind his ear. He stirred and opened one eye to peer up at her. She smiled._

"_What time is it?" he asked groggily, closing his eyes to shut out the sunlight._

"_Almost ten," she responded quietly, tracing his bottom lip with her index finger. He smirked and opened his eyes again, looking up at her._

"_Did Luke send you up here?" Jess yawned and sat up. She giggled and shook her head._

"_No, I volunteered to drag your lazy ass out of bed," she teased. He grinned and kissed her quickly._

"_Good way to wake up," he commented, drawing her into another kiss._

She managed to close the door and go over to Jess's room without waking Luke, who was sleeping in his room just a few feet away. She paused when she saw him.

He was asleep, lying on his back with a sheet loosely draped over him. She noticed that he slept in only his boxers, just as he always had, and smiled softly to herself. The moon lit up a tiny patch of his face, just enough so that she could see the troubled expression he was wearing. She knew that part of it could be blamed on their argument earlier that day.

"_Mean!" she complained, stomping on his foot._

"_Hey, watch it!" he snapped, trying not to spill the pot of coffee he had in his hand._

"_You started it."_

"_I was kidding."_

"_Not the point."_

"_Still doesn't justify foot-stomping," he argued playfully, pouring her another cup of coffee._

"_Don't make me kick you," she giggled, taking a sip of the steaming liquid._

"_Mean," he grumbled, moving back behind the counter. She grinned and watched him for a moment. "Staring isn't polite, Gilmore," he chastised without looking up from refilling saltshakers. She grinned._

"_I'm sure you won't lose any sleep over it."_

Rory shook her head to clear her thoughts out of her mind. She was here, in his room, watching him sleep. Now she just had to get up the nerve to talk to him like she'd planned to do. Shivering and dripping from the rain, she moved over to his bed and sat down on the edge of it.

He stirred when he felt the mattress dip. She reached out and ran her hand down his chest tentatively, watching tiny drops of water cascade down his skin where her fingers had been.

His eyes opened slowly, trying to clear the picture of the person in front of him. He didn't need to see her to know who it was, however, because only she could touch him like that.

"Rory?"

Her eyes snapped up from her hand and widened. This was it.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered, sitting up slowly. It was then that he noticed how soaked she was. "Did you walk here?" he asked, concerned. She merely nodded.

Jess sighed and got up, moving over to his dresser. He pulled out a sweatshirt and tossed it at her, mumbling that she should put it on before she got hypothermia.

Rory wordlessly slipped the garment on, overwhelmed with the feeling of being surrounded by his scent.

"What are you doing here?" he repeated his earlier question, moving to stand in front of her. She was looking down at her hands, which were currently playing with the sleeves on the sweatshirt.

A few minutes of silence passed before Rory finally spoke.

"Did you mean it?" Her voice sounded foreign to her, far away. She finally looked up at him and noticed the clouds of confusion that were swirling in his dark brown eyes.

"Did I mean…" Jess paused, realizing what she was talking about. His heart started pounding. This was it.

More silence passed between them as they stared into each other's eyes, trying to find something, anything, to hold onto.

"Yes."

His voice came out in a strangled whisper, his eyes closing just a moment later. She swallowed back the lump in her throat, biting her lip to keep the tears in her eyes from spilling.

"Say it again."

"What?"

"Say it again."

"I'm in love with you," he said seriously, crouching down so that they were eye-level. Rory felt the tears escaping her eyes but did nothing to hide them.

And then they were kissing. She'd been surprised when she had leaned forward and kissed him, but somehow it felt like the only thing she could do at that moment. He responded, reaching a hand up to cradle her face and run it through her hair.

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_I moved back."_

"_What?"_

"_I moved back," he repeated._

"_What-why?" she stuttered, internally kicking herself for being so nervous._

"_Just…wanted to," _for you,_ he thought._

_She kissed him then, and he momentarily considered that this whole experience was a dream. The bus ride back to Stars Hollow sitting next to an old woman who was muttering to herself about cats, the way she looked, the kiss._

_The kiss._

_He came back to the moment and cradled her face in one hand, resting the other lightly on her hip, urging her to slow down and enjoy it._

_But all too soon,_

She pulled away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, jumping up and pushing past him, running out of the apartment and down the stairs. She dropped the key she'd been holding on the floor and left, running haphazardly through the rain.

She'd barely made it down the street when she felt him grab her arm and spin her around.

"What was that?" he asked, searching her face for the answers he needed. She shook her head, indicating that she didn't know. His grip on her arm tightened. "You do know. What was that, Rory?" he pleaded.

"I lied."

"What?" Jess was confused. She wasn't making any sense. They were standing on a street corner, getting soaked by the rain, and she was babbling about lying to him.

"I lied," she said, more firmly. She elaborated when she saw the confused expression he was wearing. "I told you that I thought I loved you. I lied."

The memory of their phone call on the day of her graduation came back to him.

"So you-"

"I do love you. I've known for months."

She pulled her arm out of his grasp and kissed him then.

But she was gone before he could even think about responding.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rory woke to the smell of burnt toast. She laughed quietly to herself and looked at her alarm clock. It was almost ten, and she was surprised that she wasn't more tired. She hadn't gotten back from the diner until almost three, and had fallen asleep shortly afterward.

"Morning, Betty Crocker," she yawned as she made her way into the kitchen. Lorelai looked up and grinned at her daughter.

"The toaster and I got into an argument."

"Did he win?" Lorelai nodded. She giggled. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Well, I suppose that means we must go and get real food. Or that I must go and get real food and bring some of it home to you."

"Is it still raining?"

"It let up this morning, but it's still cloudy," Lorelai answered, joining her daughter at the table and handing her a cup of coffee. Rory nodded. "So what do you want from Luke's?"

"Waffles," she answered, smiling slightly at her mom. The older Gilmore nodded.

"Done. How'd you sleep last night?" she asked in concern.

"Fine, actually."

"Ok. So um…are you going to talk to Jess?" Rory hesitated before answering.

"Eventually."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He'd slept for an equivalent of four hours, including the two hours he'd slept before she'd shown up.

The voices in his head refused to leave him alone. _"I do love you." _He closed his eyes. _"I do love you." _That was all he could hear. It had drowned out Luke's voice yelling at him to get his ass downstairs and help, it had drowned out the familiar passages of Oliver Twist.

It had drowned out the sound of the shower; it had drowned out the last drips of rain outside.

And, unfortunately, it was drowning him, himself.

"_I do love you."_

Rory Gilmore had no idea how much of an impact she had on him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Feed me or I shall perish," Lorelai cried dramatically when she came into the diner. Luke rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure." He looked around, trying to find her other half. "Where's Rory?"

"At home, most likely wallowing."

"Is she ok?"

"She will be," Lorelai answered, smiling at him. He nodded and decided not to push the issue. "Now give me coffee!"

"You don't need any coffee. You've probably already had three cups at home."

"Have not!" He stared at her. "Fine. Yes I have. But it's not as good as yours!" she whined. He sighed.

"Don't come crawling to me when you have a heart attack," he drawled as he poured coffee into two to-go cups. She grinned.

"I need waffles and pancakes to go, Rory's waiting on food." He nodded and jotted down the order, passing it back to Cesar.

"So why is she wallowing?"

"I'll give you one guess," she deadpanned, sighing when she saw reason in question amble down into the diner.

"About damn time. Bus tables," Luke barked, tossing a rag at Jess. He didn't argue. He didn't even scowl. Luke stopped and looked at the woman in front of him.

"They had an argument again, didn't they." She nodded. He sighed, shaking his head as he handed her the bag of food.

"Catch you later," she said as she left the diner. Luke's eyes fell on his nephew.

"_I think it's clean," Luke deadpanned as he came up behind Jess. His nephew looked up at him with a blank expression. He then shook his head and looked back at the table._

"_Huh."_

"_Whatever's distracting you, push it aside and finish washing the dozen other dirty tables in this place." Jess rolled his eyes and moved onto the next table._

_The bell above the door jingled and they both glanced up. Jess smiled when he saw her. Luke rolled his eyes._

"_Ten minutes, then back to work," he sighed, going to refill coffees. Rory smiled at him and then walked over to Jess._

"_Did you already annoy him enough to drive him to pawn you off on me?" she teased, lacing her fingers through his._

"_Well, if I'm such a burden I can always leave," he retorted, smirking playfully. She smiled._

"_No need," she said quietly, pulling him to her. He grinned as their lips met._

"_That's it. No more PDA in my diner," Luke said loudly from behind her. She giggled and kissed Jess' cheek, earning a frown from her boyfriend._

"_Always ruining my fun," Jess said softly, reaching up with his free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. She rolled her eyes._

Luke shook his head as he watched Jess distractedly clean tables. He wasn't sure if they would ever figure it out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_I kissed him._ The thought ran through her mind for the millionth time in the past ten minutes. _I kissed him. I kissed him. I kissed him._

She'd taken a shower to try and wash last night's memories away, but they were being stubborn.

_I kissed him._

She would've been grinning like an idiot if last night hadn't been such a monumental mistake. They'd kissed. Twice. Both kisses initiated by her, and she'd admitted to still being in love with him.

This situation was growing more frustrating by the minute. _I kissed him. _She rolled her eyes. She felt the exact same way she had after she'd kissed him at Sookie's wedding. Stupid, happy, giddy, depressed, angry, and confused.

But unfortunately for her, happy was fighting for the top spot in that long line of emotion.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N #2: And there's the kiss – and the Rory confusion. I added in a few extra flashbacks this chapter as well. Reviews are love!


	7. Second Chances

A/N: Have I told y'all recently how much I love you? Over 100 reviews! I've never gotten such a huge response on a story before, so you all just totally rock my socks off.

By the way, I changed my username last night. This one seems much more fitting.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She sat on the couch in front of her mother, fidgeting with the pillow that was in her lap.

"You okay, sweets?"

Rory shook her head and looked up at her mother. She felt like she could cry.

"I went to see him," she said softly. Lorelai put down the package of twizzlers she'd been munching from and turned her body to face her daughter.

"Went to see who?"

"Jess." Lorelai grimaced.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And what happened?"

"We kissed," she whispered. Both women were hit with a severe sense of déjà vu at the confession. "And before you ask, I kissed him," Rory said hastily when Lorelai opened her mouth to speak.

Silence descended over the two for a moment.

"What does that mean?" Lorelai asked quietly. Rory sighed and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her head on them.

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Do you want to be with him again?"

Rory looked up and met her mother's eyes. They were filled with concern, not the anger she'd expected. She buried her face in her knees and mumbled a quiet, "Yes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An hour later, Lorelai was making coffee and ranting about how badly Jess had treated her. Rory sat at the table, trying her best not to lash out at her mother.

"…without a goodbye, and I know you said he's in love with you but just because someone says one thing it doesn't necessarily mean they meant-"

"He meant it," Rory cut her off. Lorelai stopped what she was doing and turned around to face her daughter. "He meant it, because after he said it he looked like he'd just watched someone get run over by a train. Jess is not good with emotions, and if he didn't mean it he wouldn't have looked like that right after he admitted it."

"Are you in love with him?"

Rory closed her eyes to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Yes," she breathed, meeting her mother's gaze. Lorelai moved over and sat next to her at the table.

"And you truly believe he loves you."

"Yes."

"And you want to be with him."

"Yes."

"Then I guess I have no choice but to support this," Lorelai sighed, lowering her forehead to the table. Rory smiled in spite of herself.

"I won't let him treat me like he used to."

"I know you won't, kid," Lorelai said softly, taking Rory's hand in her own and squeezing it reassuringly.

"I think we need food," Rory declared, standing up and moving over to grab the phone.

"Let's go to Luke's." Rory froze and looked up at her mom.

"We can just order take-out…"

"Honey, you're going to have to talk to him. Plus I'm in the mood for a burger." Both women sighed softly and Rory nodded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The bell above the door jingled as the two Gilmores made their way into the diner.

"Serve me, burger boy!" Lorelai demanded.

"Dirty," Rory muttered, sitting next to her mother at the counter. Luke rolled his eyes.

"Why do you insist on nicknaming me?"

"Because it's fun," Lorelai grinned. He rolled his eyes again.

"What can I get you?" he asked in a bored tone of voice.

"Burgers and coffee." He looked at Rory, who was looking around the diner.

"Rory?" She looked at him.

"Oh…same for me," she smiled nervously. "Um…Luke, where's Jess?" Luke stared at her. It had been a while since he'd heard that question.

"Upstairs."

"Can I-"

"Go." She smiled at him before turning to her mother for reassurance. Lorelai winked at her and she ran behind the curtain.

Lorelai sighed and gratefully accepted the cup of coffee that Luke placed in front of her.

"Did I miss something?"

"She saw him last night, they kissed, they're in love, and now she has to go tell him she wants to be with him."

"You're ok with this?"

"Not really, but if Rory thinks he can make her happy then I have to accept that." Luke nodded.

"If he hurts her again…"

"Get in line." He nodded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rory knocked nervously on the door to the apartment. She wrung her hands, adjusted her sweater, and tucked her hair behind her ears more times than she could count by the time he opened the door. His eyes widened a little when he saw her.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Hi."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Uh…do you wanna come in?" She smiled again and moved past him into the apartment. "What are you doing here?" Jess asked as he closed the door. She turned around and looked at him.

"I love you," she said seriously, reading his eyes for any sort of reaction.

"Rory, what-" He didn't get the chance to finish. Her lips on his cut him off.

"_What's wrong?" he asked, concerned. She shook her head._

"_Paris," she sighed. He nodded._

"_Say no more. Coffee?"_

"_Can I get it to go? I want to go home and read…or watch a movie…or do anything that doesn't involve spending my Saturday afternoon with Paris working on the Franklin." He laughed lightly and placed a paper cup in front of her._

"_Was it really that bad?" he questioned. She sighed and took a sip of her coffee, looking up at him thoughtfully._

"_It could've been worse," she said. He nodded._

"_So how about this. We can go to the video store and rent something mock-worthy, go back to your house and watch it, and then we can read for a while." She smiled._

"_Perfect," she agreed. He smirked and told Luke he was leaving before moving around the counter and taking her hand._

_They were on the sidewalk headed towards the video store when she stopped and turned to face him._

"_What?"_

"_Hi," she smiled. He raised an eyebrow._

"_Hi."_

_She kissed him softly, and then rested her forehead against his._

"_What was that for?"_

"_Just because." He smiled and kissed her again._

They pulled apart when oxygen became a necessity and she rested her forehead against his, intertwining their fingers.

"No more second chances," Rory whispered in his ear. He shivered and nodded.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. She nodded.

"I know."

"And I love you too," he said softly before reclaiming her lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"_What insane festival are you dragging me to now?" Jess asked as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. She turned her head away from the bulletin board to look at him and grinned._

"_I do not drag," she argued. He scoffed._

"_Oh, so I went to that stupid Christmas party willingly, right?" he said sarcastically. Rory giggled and nodded._

"_Yes you did, because you knew I'd be upset if you didn't," she agreed._

"_So technically you did coerce me."_

"_Only technically," she grinned and brought their lips together. He tightened his grip on her waist and she raked her nails lightly against his forearms._

"_Ahem," Lane cleared her throat. Rory pulled away and looked at her friend._

"_Sorry," she said sheepishly, blushing. Lane laughed._

"_No problem. I should get going anyway, Mama has more college applications for me," she rolled her eyes._

"_Good luck," Rory called after her friend before turning in Jess' arms and wrapping her arms around his neck._

"_More religious programs?" She nodded. "Sometimes I'm glad my mother didn't give a damn," he said softly before capturing her lips in another kiss._

She sighed contentedly and sunk further into the couch. Jess was lying in her lap while she half-lay on the couch.

Rory had woken that morning to an empty house and a note on her forehead requesting that she meet her mom at Luke's.

When she got there Lorelai was rushing out to go to the Inn.

So she settled for spending the day with Jess.

The phone rang and broke her out of her reverie. She sighed and grabbed the phone off the coffee table.

"Hello?"

"Hey sweets."

"Hey mom," Rory smiled and continued to play with a few of the more wild strands of hair on Jess' head.

"Did I interrupt anything dirty?" Rory blushed.

"No, mother."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Lorelai sighed.

"Thank God. So, tomorrow's the big move."

"Yes it is."

"Are you nervous?"

"Not so much. I mean…I'm more afraid of getting a roommate from hell than getting behind in classes or anything."

"That's my little college girl," Lorelai teased. Rory rolled her eyes.

"Is there a reason you called, or was it just to torture me?"

"I did call for a reason! There has been a kitchen emergency so I can't leave yet."

"You're dying to get the Dragonfly up, aren't you?"

"You have no idea. I should be home around nine…that's in three hours, so if you plan to do anything dirty do it now so that I don't walk in on anything." Rory blushed again.

"Goodbye mother," she said firmly before hanging up the phone.

Jess looked up at her from his position in her lap. She smiled down at him.

"She was accusing us of dirty things, wasn't she?" he questioned. She blushed an even deeper shade of crimson and nodded. Jess sighed.

"So I have a question for you," Rory said, adjusting her position and forcing him to sit up.

"Shoot."

"Well, tomorrow we're moving all of my stuff into my dorm, and I was kind of hoping that you'd help me get everything set up." He nodded.

"Ok."

"Really?"

"Really," he laughed at how surprised she seemed. She smiled and kissed him quickly.

"Thank you," she grinned, resting her head on his shoulder. He nodded.

"You're welcome."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N #2: There. They're together. However, the story does not end here, because as you could probably tell from earlier chapters, happiness is a rare gift. Rory's off to Yale… 22.8 miles, anyone? Reviews are, as always, LOVE!


	8. No Hearts

A/N: Yes. I suck. I am completely and fully aware of this. I have just been insanely busy lately, but that is no excuse. So I do apologize for this chapter taking so long. Thank you guys for reading my one-shots and being so patient with me. I heart y'all.

Now, I give you the next chapter, with a warning: extreme fluff ahead.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Was it really necessary to bring every single book you own?"

"Yes," Rory shrugged, shooting a grin at her mother.

"I think my arms are going to fall off," Lorelai whined as she set down yet another box of books.

"Baby," Rory teased. The older woman stuck her tongue out at her before going down back to the car.

"Five bucks says Luke murders your mom by the end of the day," Jess said as he walked into the room. She laughed and sat down on the box of books her mother had set down just a few moments prior.

"What's she done now?"

"She's apparently trying to get a career in songwriting," he said sarcastically as he moved over to her. She rolled her eyes.

"Poor Luke."

He leaned down and kissed her softly before sitting down on the box next to her. She smiled at him.

"He's bringing up the last box of your stuff right now," Jess said quietly, kissing the top of her head while she rested against his shoulder. She nodded.

"Thank you for helping today," she said softly, intertwining their fingers.

"Not a problem."

"Gilmore!" they heard someone scream from the other room. Rory groaned and buried her head in the crook of his neck.

"And here I was thinking I'd escaped the wrath of Paris," she mumbled, getting up and going into the common room of their suite. "What, Gellar?"

"Your mother is asking for you."

"Where is she?"

"Downstairs with that diner man," Paris waved her hand dismissively as she went back out into the hall. Rory rolled her eyes and banged her forehead against the doorframe.

"What did the wall ever do to you?" Two arms circled her waist from behind. She grinned and leaned back against her boyfriend.

"Nothing, yet," Rory replied.

"Tell you what, if the wall decides to attack you in the future, I will come over and distract it long enough for you to knock it unconscious." She giggled.

"Sounds like a good plan," she agreed, turning in his arms and snaking her own around his neck.

"Doesn't your mom need you?"

"According to Paris, yes," she whispered before kissing him squarely on the mouth.

"You should probably go see what's up," Jess whispered in between kisses. Rory sighed into his mouth and deepened the kiss, pulling him closer and running her hands through his hair.

"Oh daughter of mi-" Lorelai stopped when she saw the couple. "Ahem," she cleared her throat loudly. Rory jumped back and blushed a fiery red, avoiding her mother's eyes.

"What's up?" Rory asked, ignoring the proud smirk displayed on Jess' face.

"I was going to go on a coffee run," Lorelai explained, eyeing Jess warily.

"My hero!" her daughter giggled, resting her head on her boyfriend's shoulder, "Make mine black please."

"Will do," Lorelai agreed as Luke walked into the suite with Rory's last box.

"She dropped it, so if anything broke it's not my fault," he explained as he took the box back into Rory's room. She rolled her eyes.

"I'll be back," her mother proclaimed before leaving the suite.

Rory looked up at Jess and smiled softly.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Are we still going to dinner tonight?"

"If you still want to."

"I still want to."

"Then yes, we're still going to dinner tonight."

"Thank you," she smiled and kissed him quickly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"This conversation is so old," he said jokingly.

"If you would just admit that she is an amazing author then we wouldn't still be having it!" she argued.

"She's a nut, Rory," Jess looked at her as they walked around campus.

"At least I don't worship Hemingway," she said playfully.

"Ah, but I have informed you on many occasions that Ernest _likes_ you. Ayn Rand just likes to confuse you."

"You're cracked."

"You wouldn't have it any other way," he said softly as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She sighed and sunk into his side.

"Point," Rory agreed. He rubbed her arm lightly and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"I had a good time tonight," she said suddenly. He looked down at her and smirked.

"Me too."

"I'd almost forgotten how fun it is to go out with you like this."

"Well it's a good thing I reminded you, then." She nodded.

"Indeed it is," she grinned and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lorelai looked at the clock for the third time in ten minutes. Rory had promised to call her at ten, and it was now ten thirty. She sighed and dug her spoon into the carton of ice cream that was on her lap.

The phone rang. She grinned and answered with a cheerful hello.

"You sound like you do after the first snow."

"I'm not allowed to be happy that my daughter called me?" Lorelai mock-pouted. Rory laughed.

"Of course you are."

"I miss you!" the older woman complained. Her daughter's distinct snicker sounded over the phone.

"It's only been one day," Rory chastised playfully.

"So not the point. It's lonely here without you."

"I'm sure it is. You could always get a pet."

"I'd kill it. Then I'd not only be lonely but I'd feel guilty."

"That does present a problem, doesn't it?"

"Yes, a very big problem. So here's my solution: come home!"

"We both agreed that it would be easier for me to live in the dorms than to commute to school every day," Rory reminded her mother.

"I take back my agreement!" Lorelai said defiantly. Rory sighed.

"It's only 22.8 miles, mom."

"How do you know that?"

"Um…"

"Rory?"

Rory sighed and looked at the sleeping figure next to her. She smiled softly at the peaceful expression that occupied his facial features.

"Jess looked it up," she said quietly, "When I decided to go to Yale."

"He did?"

She heard the adoring tone in her mother's voice.

"Yeah."

"Aww," Lorelai cooed. Rory rolled her eyes.

"Shush, it was sweet."

"No arguments here," her mother agreed. "Is he still there?"

"He fell asleep about twenty minutes ago. I think it's from all of the day's excitement," she laughed quietly.

"Rory, you two aren't…"

"No."

"But if you were…"

"I would tell you." Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank God," she laughed nervously.

They were silent for a few seconds.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, kiddo."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She lay awake, staring at the unfamiliar surroundings. Sighing, she burrowed closer to the figure next to her and kissed his shoulder. He pulled her closer but didn't wake. She sighed again. She felt peaceful, lying here in his arms. It was thrilling to just be able to curl up with him and not worry about him pressuring her, or the fear of him leaving.

She rather loved the feeling she got when he had pulled her into him.

"_Bye," Rory giggled as she hung up the phone. She quickly went into the bathroom to change into her pajamas and returned a few moments later to find Jess wide awake, looking at the ceiling._

"_How long have you been awake?" she questioned as she climbed into bed next to him._

"_Since I felt you get off the bed," Jess answered honestly. She blushed._

"_I assume you're crashing here tonight," Rory teased playfully while she got under the covers. She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at him. They locked eyes and she couldn't help but smile at the look of contentment she found in his dark brown pools._

"_If thy lady doth not protest," he whispered, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear._

"_She doesn't," she smiled. He sighed and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her against him. Rory rested her head against his chest and let her leg fall haphazardly over his, snuggling into his side._

"_I like this," he said after a few moments. She nodded._

"_Me too."_

She grinned maniacally and traced random patterns on his stomach under the covers. His muscles tensed under her touch and then relaxed when her hand moved to a different part of the area.

"Planning on being a tattoo artist?"

She jumped slightly and looked up at him. His eyes were still closed but he was clearly awake.

"Maybe," she teased.

"So I assume I'm your practice dummy?"

"Of course."

"Right. Just no hearts." She grinned.

"I don't understand your issue with hearts," Rory laughed.

"They just make things seem so…ordinary," Jess shrugged and started tracing light circles on her hip with his index finger.

"So I've heard," she whispered.

"_Put a heart around it," she demanded. He shook his head and stuck his switchblade back in his pocket._

"_No."_

"_Why not?"_

"_They're too ordinary," he shrugged. She raised an eyebrow._

"_Then put a circle."_

"_No."_

"_A square?"_

"_No."_

"_Jess!" she whined, tugging on his belt loops to pull him closer to her._

"_Wouldn't you prefer that it's not closed off from the rest of the bridge?"_

_Rory considered this for a moment before smiling at him._

"_Point," she conceded, looking down at the carving while she wrapped her arms around his waist._

'_JM + RG'_

_It was carved into the exact board that she'd been standing on when she'd pushed him into the lake just half an hour ago. He'd yanked her in after him, and they were now standing on the bridge, soaking wet, on the very same board._

_She grinned. It was officially_ their_ bridge._

"Been awake long?" Jess skillfully changed the subject. She shook her head, smiling at the memory that had just played out in her mind. "Do you realize it's four in the morning?" he questioned. She nodded again and snuggled closer still. The last remnants of space between them were demolished with that single movement.

"I keep drifting in and out of consciousness," Rory said quietly. He nodded and kissed her hair, continuing to trace her hip with his fingers.

"What do you have going on today?" he asked. She thought for a moment before responding.

"I have freshman orientation at three, but other than that I'm free for the day." He nodded.

They lay in silence for a few moments, the only sounds in the room being their breathing, which was nearly in sync.

"Did you talk Luke into letting you get your GED yet?" she asked after a while. She got a tired grunt in response. "Jess," she prodded lightly.

"Huh?"

"Did you talk Luke into letting you get your GED yet?" she repeated the question. He sighed.

"Yeah." Rory smiled and looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest.

"Jess, that's great."

"Better than repeating Senior Year."

"I'm proud of you, you know. You're really trying."

"Thanks," he said awkwardly. She kissed the hollow of his throat and settled back into her earlier position.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N #2: I told you it was fluffy. I didn't mean for it to turn out that way but it did.

The next chapter starts to introduce a little bit more of the plot, and I apologize for the lack of real importance in this update. I do, however, hope you liked it. Reviews are love (as always).


	9. Mommy's Turn, Or Not

She groaned and rolled onto her stomach. Pulling her pillow over her head, she mumbled something unintelligible and attempted to go back to sleep.

Unfortunately, her roommate had other plans.

Paris yanked the pillow off of her head and proceeded to thump her on the back with it. Rory groaned.

"Paris!"

"Rory!" she mocked, rolling her eyes as she tossed the ball of fluff across the room. "Let's go, we have class in an hour."

"What are you talking about? It's Friday," Rory disagreed. Paris blinked at her.

"And?"

"And we don't have a morning class on Friday."

"You're right, we don't. It's 10:30."

"Hmph."

"Get up," Paris said shortly before leaving the room.

Rory groaned again and slowly sat up, running a hand through her hair. Her cell phone rang and she grabbed it off of her bedside table, smiling when she saw the number.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"Hey," she smiled.

"Your mom is making Luke turn multiple shades of red," Jess smirked. She grinned.

"Nicole?"

"Always." She laughed. "What are you doing?"

"Ugh, Paris just woke me up. Apparently we all have to get up at seven," she rolled her eyes. Jess laughed lightly.

"You're coming home tonight though, right?"

"Right."

"So no Paris waking you up for two days."

"Heaven."

"But there is Lorelai."

"When have you known my mom to get up at seven on a weekend?"

"Good point." Rory grinned.

"My points are always good."

"Right. I forgot, sorry."

Their conversation continued for a few minutes and she was smiling when she left her room.

"Are you in a better mood now?" Paris questioned without looking up from her paper. Rory's smile faltered a tiny bit but she nodded. "I don't understand what you see in that Neanderthal."

Rory just smiled.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Give me coffee."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Lukey!" Lorelai whined. Luke stared blankly at her.

"Don't call me that," he glared as he held the pot away from her grabby fingers.

"Lukey, give me coffee," she grinned.

"Stop calling me Lukey. And no, you've had four cups today."

"Not true!"

"Very true."

"Lukey," she grinned. He rolled his eyes and finally poured her a cup of coffee, earning a bright smile from the woman sitting at his counter.

"That stuff'll kill you-"

"One of these days."

He rolled his eyes and handed the pot to Jess when he came downstairs. Lorelai watched the younger boy for a second. He'd been considerably less monosyllabic and…well…Jess-ish in the past couple of weeks.

The bell above the door rang and Lorelai turned around only to have her daughter throw her arms around her.

"It's so good to be home," Rory cried dramatically. Luke rolled his eyes and poured her a cup of coffee as she sat down.

"Hey! How come she gets coffee as soon as she walks in?" Lorelai complained.

"She has a slightly tighter grasp on reality than you, that's why."

The older Gilmore considered this for a moment before waving her friend off and turning towards her daughter.

"Paris?"

"Isn't it always?"

Both girls sighed and turned back to their coffee as Rory explained that Paris had woken her up at seven every morning for the past four days, and allowed her to sleep in until 10:30 that morning only because their first class was at 11:45.

"That's cruel," Lorelai shook her head. Rory nodded and frowned slightly.

"Yes, poor baby," Jess deadpanned as he walked behind the counter. Rory noticeably brightened and leaned over the counter to kiss him.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Hi," he returned, squeezing her hand and kissing her again before going to take a customer's order. Rory watched him as he moved around the diner and smiled softly to herself.

"Mommy's turn," Lorelai said childishly, waving her hand in front of her daughter's face. Rory snapped out of her stare and blinked at her mother for a moment. Lorelai grinned. "You've got it bad," she teased. Rory blushed and took another sip of her coffee.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"You get the candy, I'll get the movies," Lorelai commanded when they left the diner about an hour later. Rory nodded.

"Meet you back at the house?"

"It's a deal," Lorelai grinned and they turned in opposite directions.

Rory walked into Doose's and headed straight for the candy aisle. She didn't notice the other person in the store until she practically ran them over. She stepped back to catch her breath and smiled a little.

"Hi, Dean," she said after they'd both apologized. She distracted herself with grabbing random bags of pixie sticks and other various sugars while he returned the greeting. They continued the small talk for a moment before Dean broke into the question he'd been meaning to ask her for three weeks.

"Why are you with him again?"

Rory faltered a little and looked up at him. She paused to consider the question a moment and then smiled. "Because I love him," she said simply.

Dean stared after her as she went to pay and left the store.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

They were halfway through 'Young Frankenstein' when Lorelai seemed to remember something.

"How come you didn't have dinner at my parents' tonight?"

"They're out of town," Rory explained. Lorelai nodded. "You know, you're welcome at dinner any time you like." Lorelai nodded again.

"Yeah."

Silence fell over them as they went back to watching the movie.

When it was over, they were still discussing.

"The man is a legend."

"And so you feel the need to punish him?"

"He'd love it," Lorelai smiled, "Who wouldn't love being tattooed on my butt?" Rory blinked.

"I'm not going to comment on that," she decided finally. Lorelai gasped.

"You insult me."

"You walked right into that one."

"Evil child."

"You raised me." Lorelai grinned.

"I did, didn't I?"

"So really, it's your fault that I'm evil. I simply inherited your ways."

The older woman was about to respond when the doorbell rang.

"Expecting company?" Rory shook her head but went to answer the door.

She grinned when she saw who it was.

"Luke told me to come back when I decided to stop being annoying."

"So he kicked you out forever?"

"Pretty much," Jess smirked and kissed her quickly while she let him in the house.

"Nothing dirty," Lorelai wagged a finger at them as she walked into the kitchen. Rory blushed. Jess smirked and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

Rory smiled at him and took his hand, grabbing her coat on their way out the door. Lorelai heard the door close and walked back into the living room, sinking into the couch with a sigh.


	10. Forbidden

A/N: Yeah, so…I totally suck. I put all of this attention into And I Whisper and write a ton of one shots and put this story on the back burner. I deserve a flogging. This story is just harder to write, for some unknown reason. All I ask for is patience. I will finish this; things will happen; I just need the time to figure it all out.

XXXXXX

She gaped at the figure standing in front of her. She couldn't be serious.

"You can't be serious," she cried incredulously. Lorelai set her mouth in a firm line and nodded.

"I am," she said quietly. Her voice held no emotion. Rory felt tears pricking at her eyes and she shook her head fiercely.

"You can't do that. I'm eighteen, mom, you can't forbid me to see someone!"

"You completely disregard everything and everyone when you're with him!"

"I love him!" She was surprised she wasn't screaming at this point. She'd walked into the house completely elated after her walk with Jess and found her mother sulking on the couch, watching _Love Story_ with a gigantic bowl of popcorn in her lap. She didn't know who had started the yelling; it didn't particularly matter.

"I know you do, kid, and that's why I'm doing this."

Rory faltered and blinked. "What?"

Lorelai sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair, her eyes turning toward the ceiling. "He's just going to hurt you."

"He's changed."

"He told you he loves you."

"He does!"

"He's only in this for the sex!"

The door opened and slammed shut again not a second later and Lorelai sighed again, sinking into the couch.

XXXXXX

The lights were off when she got there but she could clearly see his form behind the counter, refilling salt shakers. She pounded on the glass and wiped away her tears, which were falling too quickly at this point for her hands to have any real effect. She watched as he looked up from his task and as his face contorted in confusion before he walked over and unlocked the door.

She threw her arms around him when it opened and he stumbled a bit, wrapping an arm around her waist and hugging her back.

"Hey," he said quietly. Rory sniffled against his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

She pulled herself closer to him and molded their bodies together, sobbing against his shirt. Jess sighed and rested his chin on top of her head.

Ten minutes later, she sighed with finality and pulled away to look at him. He pushed a piece of hair out of her face and she kissed him, catching him off guard.

Things intensified quickly and they started stumbling toward the stairs, bumping into the counter and the wall on the way. When she reached the bottom step she started to wobble up them, her mouth still affixed to his. He pressed her against the wall about halfway up and she tangled her fingers in his hair, groaning at the sensation of being trapped between his body and the cold plaster.

Somehow they found their way into the apartment and she tugged at the hem of his shirt in an attempt to remove it. He pulled back and took her hands in his, breathing hard.

"What are we doing?" he managed to choke out. She looked at him innocently and bit her bottom lip. Her only response was to kiss him. He pulled away too soon.

"Rory…"

She groaned. "What, Jess?" She was exasperated. Things had been fine an hour ago. Then Lorelai happened. And now all she wanted was something to hold onto; something to help her ground herself. He could give that to her, she knew. But for some reason he wouldn't.

"You just came in here crying ten minutes ago and now you're trying to take my clothes off. Excuse me for being a little confused," he said gently, running his thumb across her knuckles.

Rory sighed quietly and looked down at the ground, shaking her head. When she returned her gaze to his face she seemed defeated.

"You love me, right?"

The question confused him. The vulnerability of it made his heart rate speed up a little and he nodded, whispering a soft "Yes" in response. She nodded a little and kissed him again.

And again, he pulled away.

"What's goin' on, Ror?" he whispered. Her behavior scared him. She wasn't one not to tell him what was wrong and just kiss him – that was his role.

"I don't want to talk about it," she matched his volume and he sighed, but didn't pull back when she kissed him again.

The intensity began to build back up at a frightening speed, and once again she was pushing her hands up under his shirt, tracing the contours of his stomach and smiling against his mouth when he shivered. Rory tugged him toward his bed and he pulled away a little, looking questioningly into her eyes.

"Shh," she cut him off when he opened his mouth to speak. "I want to do this," she said firmly. Jess closed his eyes for a second and then kissed her forehead tenderly.

"I don't want to push you," he whispered against her skin. Tingles trailed down her spine and she sunk into him further.

"You're not."

"You're upset," he was speaking into her ear now. His lips brushed her skin and she shook her head.

"Jess, I…" she hesitated and took a deep breath. "I want…" she shook her head and locked eyes with him when he moved his head away from her neck. "I want to make love to you," she finished in a whisper. He swallowed audibly and traced her side with his hand gently, eliciting a little whimper from her throat.

A moment later he pressed his mouth to hers and they tumbled onto the mattress.

Outside, the first droplets of a thunder storm started to fall.

XXXXX

She swirled the drink in her hand and sighed softly, taking another sip from the glass. Her friend watched her in concern.

"Are you sure you're ok, sweetie?" Lorelai nodded as she swallowed the last droplet of her martini.

"I'm just peachy," she smiled. Sookie furrowed her brow and shook her head.

"I'm sure it's all just a big misunderstanding."

"Nope. I forbid her to see him; she stormed out. No misunderstanding needed."

Sookie sighed and set her drink on the coffee table. "But she's Rory."

"Yes she is."

"She'll come around."

"Not as long as she's with him. Every time she's here from school she spends every waking moment with him."

"She's young and in love."

"She's young and in love and being used," Lorelai countered. Sookie frowned and then raised her eyebrows.

"You're jealous."

"What?"

"You're jealous!" Sookie exclaimed. "You're upset because Rory has someone and you don't," she said gently. Lorelai blinked at her for a moment and then burst out laughing. She continued to giggle for a few minutes before calming down and shaking her head, wiping the tears from her eyes that had formed during her fit.

"I am not jealous of my daughter," she argued.

"But you do need someone."

"No, I don't. This is a new, improved, independent Lorelai," she nodded firmly and poured herself another drink. Sookie sighed as she watched her, shaking her head.

"Are you sure it's just Jess being with Rory again, or is there something else? Someone? Maybe…Nicole and a certain diner man that married her?"

Lorelai paused in her actions and kept her gaze focused on her glass. She didn't like the way her heart skipped a beat at the suggestion.

XXXXXX

Thunder rattled the window a little, causing her to cuddle closer to him under the sheets. He sighed contentedly and wrapped his arm around her tighter, the other running through her hair repeatedly. She left small kisses on his chest and closed her eyes.

"You ok?" he whispered. Rory smiled against his shoulder and nodded, draping an arm across his stomach.

"Better than ok," she murmured softly. Her breath ghosted across his chest and he shivered slightly, earning a shy smile from his girlfriend. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, reaching up to cup his chin in her palm.

Jess turned his face in her hand and kissed her palm lightly, reaching up to take her hand in his. She smiled again and rested her head back on his chest.

"You gonna tell me what had you crying earlier?"

Rory sighed quietly and traced random patterns on his chest with her fingertip. She nodded a little but remained silent. He waited.

"My mom forbade me to see you," she whispered. Jess grimaced.

"Jeez," he groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

"She said you don't really love me and you're only in this for the sex."

She spoke quickly, almost inaudibly. But he heard her. He heard every word. He gently sat up and brought her with him, forcing her to look at him once they were upright.

"I love you," he said seriously. She nodded, offering him a small smile.

"I know," she whispered.

"This has never been about-"

"I know," she cut him off, gently pressing her hand to his mouth. He kissed the creases of her fingers lightly and she blushed, turning her eyes to the bed sheet. He smirked at how cute she looked and turned her face toward him, bringing their lips together softly.

"I love you too," she whispered in between kisses. He murmured something into her mouth and they fell back onto the bed.


End file.
